Gift of Gab

My husband can strike up a conversation with just about anyone . Until we had started this new house project this " gift " of his , had actually been a little annoying . I couldn't tell you the number of times I've sat , fuming in the car
, waiting for him to wrap up a conversation with a total stranger .
Because neither of us were familiar with codes we decided to sub contract the electric and plumbing . I ran an ad in a local publication , for plumbers and electricians . The response was overwhelming . Construction in this area of the country had dropped off considerably , and a lot of these guys were out of work . Judging from some of the bids we got they wanted to stay that way . It hadn't hit them that the "Boom" was over , and that they were going to have to go back to charging more , "realistic" , prices for their services .
My bid process was pretty simple , I had the contractors come out to the house and as we walked through , I told them what I wanted ,they took notes , and a couple of days later , they would send me their bids . I also used this walk through as a sort of interview . I knew that when it came time to do the actual job , I would be the one on site that they would be talking to , and if they couldn't , or weren't will to communicate with me on a level that I understood then I had no use for them . I had done my homework (thank goodness for the Internet ) and had become somewhat familiar with a lot of the housing industry jargon . I think I might have even impressed my husband a little ...no easy task after almost 25 years of marriage .
Any how after shifting through all the bids , and we had decided on an electrician , I was having trouble deciding on a plumber . We had bids from $10,000 dollars to $4200.00 all of which struck me as ridiculously high . As far as the plumbing went we had a very simple lay out , all the plumbing was on one side of the house in a straight line . Not that much in the way of materials or labor .
So while I'm trying to figure out if , and how , we could do this ourselves , my husband puts his "gift" into action . While stopping to get gas one day at a local convenience store , he had a plumbing company van pull up next to him . Being his normal self he struck up a conversation with the driver . Turned out that drive wasn't the owner of the company just an employee , and because work was really slack at that time his employer didn't mind that his guys did side work ( the company went out of business several months later ). He actually followed my husband home . We walked him through showed him what we needed , he went home worked up a quote and called back with it later that evening . He came in at a little under half of the lowest quote we had gotten . He wasn't licensed ,So we had to get the plumbing permit , but in our county the home owner can do their own plumbing and have who ever they want to assist , as long as they meet the codes . We didn't know the codes , this guy did . That problem solved .
His gift of gab came in handy several more times over the course of building our new house . Just from striking up conversations he found unemployed people in the insulation field , general labors , finish carpenters , painters ,the list goes on . Some we used , some we didn't . So my advise is TALK , to friends, relatives, co-workers , people you run into shopping . With the high unemployment numbers , there are oodles of talented people out there who would be grateful for the work , and you can save yourself a bundle of money . Post ads in local newspapers , community bulletin boards , home improvement stores . Ask for references .

Naive To Say The Least

Call me naïve , for some reason , maybe because I think things should be simple and uncomplicated , I thought all we had to do was go to the permit office, get a building permit , and off we'd go . Wrong , oh so wrong ! Every step of the construction process has a permit involved , and almost every permit has to be obtained from a different department . I don't know about other areas , but Kent County Delaware has an extremely disorganized permit system . . Instead of having all the related departments , located in one building , they are strung out , all over the city of Dover DE , and of course they don't seem to communicate with each other . The proverbial , left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing . So if you're in the Dept. of Natural Resources office (which is where you get a septic and well permit) , and need information ... say , about obtaining a plumbing permit don't bother asking . Further more , every permit has an initial fee , and some have additional inspection fees . Some permits , make no sense at all , we ran into several of these . One was for a highway entrance permit , permission to have a driveway . OK... there had only been a driveway , ( two in fact ) on our lot for over 25 years . The second was an environmental impact permit , this was to determine the impact , that building a house on the lot , would have on the environment . There had also been a house on the lot for over 25 years . We even had to have a demolition permit , to tear down what remained of the more than half burnt old house . I started to argue these permits , but got frustrated and just let it go . I had visions of my paperwork getting shoved to the bottom of the pile . The one permit , that burnt me up the most , was the actual building permit itself . It was close to $4000.00 , and the only thing we got for that ... was permission to build . This fee was for absolutely nothing else , no additional permits , no inspections , nothing . Along with having to have a permit for every stage of construction, every stage has to be inspected and in some cases , you can't move to the next phase , until the previous one has passed inspection. Generally there is a waiting period before the inspections, can be done . If a stage doesn't pass inspection on the first shot and has to be re-inspected, your waiting again . The lesson here is ... before you do anything find out what permits you need , what they cover , and have your check book ready .

There Goes The Garage

Word of warning ! Before you buy or build on your lot , know the type of septic system your going to need to install , and research the costs . This can be a $ 8,000 to $35,000 ( or more ) expense . We found out early on , that the existing system , that we had been using , without any issues , for almost 20 years , no longer met State standards ...wonderful . And of course , the system we needed to replace it with , wasn't on the low end .

Depending on the area you live in , the type of system needed , is either determined by a "perc" test , or soil test . We had to have a soil test done , at the tune of about a thousand dollars . They came out and gathered core samples form about 18 different locations on our lot (our lot is a little under 2 acres ). The results weren't good , we were told , that , if there hadn't already been a house on the lot , we probably would have ran into problems trying to build here .
Because of the location of the well , and property lines , there were only 2-3 locations on the lot where we could build . We were also , going to have to go with a "mound" system . Fortunately , one of the locations where we could build , put the mound behind the house , instead of in the front yard . Thank goodness ! Nothing like having , what looks like a mass grave , in your front yard . I had often driven by newly constructed homes , and wonder , why in the world , would you put that hideous mess in the front yard ? Well now I know why , sometimes you just don't have a choice .

The next step in this nightmare , was having a system designed ... another $500.00. The system we needed to install turned out to be a little complicated , basically it's a mini water treatment plant , with pumps , aerators , and other junk I didn't understand . Now here is the mistake , we made in this step .
The company that we originally had design the system , didn't have their own crew to do installations , They just designed systems , and would sub contracted the installation out , and quoted $34,000.00 for the installation . Skip this step ! Find a contractor , that will include the system design in their price . Most septic design companies represent a specific manufacturer , and most manufactures , have a specific , design for their systems . The system design companies are sales reps, they make money off the systems they sell and mark up on the contractors they use , if they don't have their own crews .

The State of Delaware, and I assume that most states , have lists of contractors who have been State certified to install these systems . Apparently not just anyone can do this . GET bids !!! After that $34,000 quote , I sent the soil sample results out to almost everyone of the contractors on the State's list , the ones that did free quotes that is . We got quotes from $34,000 to $23,000 , you know which one we accepted . Even at $23,000 , that was still a chunk of money . Well ... there goes the garage .

Cutting Out The Middleman

The first thing we did when we finally receive the insurance pay out , was pay off the existing mortgage . Luckily we only owed a little under $30,000 . So our main goal , from that point on , was to remain mortgage free . Which played a big part in both , the how , and what , we were going to do about replacing our home . So now we're on a really strict budget .






The decision to build wasn't reached easily . It seems that , not only were my husband and I not on the same page , we apparently weren't even reading the same book . It took pretty close to a year , and many, many , trips to view model homes , talk to contractors , going back and looking at things a second and some times a third time .

After consulting with numerous contractors we came to the same conclusion , these guys were just middlemen . Almost all of the contractors we talked to , didn't have their own crews , they sub contracted all the work out . Hmm ...we could do this ! Now all we needed to do was , figure out how.

Most home improvement stores offer material packages , these packages include everything you need to build your new home . You can pick from their plans or use your own . We decided to go with a local, family owned building supply company . Mainly because we liked the salesman . We probably could have saved more money by going with one of the bigger chain stores , but like I said , we liked the salesman . He didn't treat me like some dumb female , and answered my numerous questions in a way that made sense to me . This was important to me , this house building business was foreign ground to me . He didn't have an , oh crap , here she is again attitude , when I showed up , or called , with questions .

As I said before you can either use your on plans , or pick from one of theirs . Some people can look at blue prints and start salivating , I look at blue prints and all I see are a bunch of lines on paper . If you tell me a room is 12' x 12" , unless I am standing in that room , I can't visualize the actual size . So we chose one of their plans , which I tweaked a little .

We decided on a Cape Cod . For practical reasons we also decided to have them , put the shell up . Now , we could have sub-contracted this our selves , and , if our situation had been different , we probably would have . But winter , was setting in .. again , we were both working , and we were living in a 40 year old trailer that was pretty much falling apart around us , and I , flat out refused to sink any money in it for repairs .

So in mid August, two years after the fire , ground was finally broken for our new house .

Free Falling Into Hell

June 6, 2006 started out like any other work day . I grudgingly got up at 3:30 am , dressed and headed off to work . Upon arriving at work that morning my shift was told that we wouldn't be running that day . So I was sent home . I was grateful for the unexpected day off , we tended to work 7 days a week for weeks on end , so the time off was welcome . So I headed back home and back to bed for some much-needed sleep .
My son and his girlfriend were living with us a the time , she and I were the only ones home that morning . Around 11:00 am my son's girlfriend ask if I smelt smoke ? Unfortunately I did . So off I went looking for the source , didn't take long to find it . When I open the door from the Family room to the garage , I found the garage almost fully engulfed in flames . Quickly shut the door and frantically headed back to the main section of the house . Instructed the girlfriend to call 911 and went outside to see if maybe I could get it under control with the garden hose . Yeah right , well that wasn't happening . Back into the house I went , by this time the house was filling with smoke and I could see flames coming out of the roof of the garage . Grabbed my car keys, cell phone ( to this day, with all the confusion , I still don't know how I had enough sense to do this ) and we headed for safety . Pulled my truck a safe distance from the house and there we sat waiting for the fire department to arrive . Four fire departments to be exact .
As I was sitting there waiting and collecting my thoughts , I realized that our three dogs were still in the house . Any other day they would have been outside in a fenced in area we had set up for them , but for some reason they had come back in that morning . I went to the living room window and pushed the screen in thinking I could get them out that way . But at that point the house was full of a thick black smoke and I could only see about a foot inside the house and they didn't come to me when I called . I knew better than to re-enter the house .
So back in the safety of the truck I sat and waited , for the fire department , for my husband , and for it to all be over . It's sickening to sit , and watch twenty-three years of your life go up in smoke and flames ,and there's not a damn thing you can do about it . This was the first time in my life that I felt truly helpless .
I didn't know it at the time but the reality of it would take months sink in .
The fire companies started showing up about 30-45 minutes after our call . Under the circumstances , this was a fairly good response time . We live 8-9 miles from the closest fire house and there are no manned fire departments local to us . So fire fighters are volunteers and had to be rounded up then dispatched from the fire house . But once they got to us they didn't waste any time getting to work putting the fire out .
Someone from one of the fire departments put a call into Red Cross for us and a representative was on site before the fire departments even left . The Red Cross set us up with three nights at a local hotel , and food and clothing vouchers for the four of us . This was a blessing , because my brain hadn't even gotten to part about where are we going to sleep tonight , or what are we going to wear . The only clothing we had , was what each of us were wearing , and I don't know who's pants I had on , only that they were about 3 sizes to big and I didn't have a belt .. When I left the house I had on a pair of sleeping shorts, a tee-shirt and sandals . Sometime during the chaos , my daughter or someone gave me a pair of jeans to put on .
Once the fire was extinguished and the fire departments packed up , and gone , I made the request that someone go into what remained of the house and retrieve the dog's bodies . I also requested that when they brought them out , that I be somewhere else . I couldn't bear to see them . I somehow felt , and still feel that I could have some how saved them . My son's took care of those requests , burying them some where on our lot . I didn't ask where , don't want to know . Maybe some day I'll ask . It's been 5 years , and of all the things we lost , losing the dogs still makes me cry .
The rest of the day is pretty much a blur . We checked into the hotel , bought clothes, and food . These are things I know we did , but don't have any clear memory of participating in the events . For about a week or so I functioned in a fog .
Future posts will follow our stages or phases of coming back from nothing . The setbacks , the obstacles and resources we found to over come these . Hopefully this information will be helpful to others in the same or similar situations.